The Concept of Soulmates

The Concept of Soulmates

It’s probably safe to say that a lot of people believe in soulmates. But is that a healthy ideal to strive for within your romantic relationships? First, let’s define soulmates. Soulmates are viewed as two souls who belong together so essentially two people who are perfect for each other. A couple who was meant to be together. Perfection.

 

But I thought the old sayings “Nobody’s perfect” and “There’s no such thing as perfect” were true? That’s right…perfection doesn’t exist. So then how could soulmates exist? Well, they don’t. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a soul mate.

 

Confused?

 

I’ll explain.

 

When two people who are both searching for the same things out of life and share the same mentality on life, relationships and marriage come together, they can MAKE each other their soul mates. How you ask? Well, by making a conscious choice to love each other, continuously help each other on this journey called life and make their life plans and strive for those life plans together. These two people actually help each other ACHIEVE their life plans, since they are on the same course in life. This is a more realistic definition of soulmates.

 

They make each other feel as though they BELONG together. They don’t just cosmically, instantly feel as though they belong together. You don’t “just know” when you meet the right person. This continued belief in a fairytale type of love story only prevents people from having a fulfilling relationship. The constant search for The One and The One being this cosmic connection is a faulty way to think about and approach love and relationships. There are many people in this world who can be The One…No, you say? Because if there were so many options then why are you still single or why haven’t you met your other half yet? Well, think about it. There are billions of people in this world…so there are lots of chances to meet a person who will share a similar outlook on life as you do. Also, evaluate how you’ve been approaching your search. With what mentality have you been dating? Do you disregard someone right away with whom you had an “okay” time with on a first date? First impressions aren’t always great. People are nervous on 1st dates, so they may be unable to put their best foot forward and show you their stellar personality. Maybe it’s worth it to go on a 2nd or even 3rd date with this person.

 

Are you only looking for chemistry? Is chemistry the MOST important thing to you on a date? And if you don’t feel it right away, do you disregard the person as not being The One or your soulmate? True chemistry grows slowly as the bond between two people develops slowly. True chemistry that is developed over time will last a lifetime. But that instant chemistry or that instant cosmic feel won’t last for too long and once it fades, so does the relationship. So think about if you want a temporary cosmic excitement that will go down in flames or a long-lasting bond that is built over time and, will therefore, be most rewarding. It’s important to continuously re-evaluate one’s approach to love and relationships in order to make sure one is not in search of something that doesn’t exist. What happens when one is living in the real world but searching for something that only exists in fairytales? The search won’t be very productive.

-Psychotherapist Jackie